Saying No To Sex When Not In Mood Is A Sign Of Healthy Relationship

Honesty is the best policy. Being honest with your partner is always right. If you have a mutual understanding between you and your partner, you don’t have to overthink this topic much.

But it is almost next to impossible to understand other relationships as it involves many parameters. This article will help you express yourself honestly by saying no to sex if you are not in the mood.

Tell him about your mood as early as possible and unfold it gradually instead of saying it bluntly at the last moment. Don’t you think it’s logical?

Until he begins making romantic advances, plotting his moves, or only warming up for a steamy session, subtly drop him a hint that you are not in the mood. It would not make him feel rejected or question his masculinity.

It may seem like everybody is doing it, but the fact is that the average age when people begin to have sex is 17 years, and some wait longer.

You have the right to determine by yourself when you are ready for sex and to say “no” to sex any time, for any reason (even if you’ve already had it) with any guy. But saying “no” to sex can be difficult, particularly if you haven’t been thinking about how to say it before you have to.

How Do You Say No To A Partner?

Many people feel nervous or awkward while saying no to sex, or at some point, they don’t want to have sex. Practicing saying ‘no’ to sex in front of a mirror or alone in your room may be helpful.

Seek to sound positive about your decision and practice by saying, ‘No, I don’t want to have sex right now or ‘No, I’m not ready for sex yet.’

  • If you have a long-term friend, it can be useful often to let them know in advance that you are not in a sex mood. If you’re not feeling good or not in the mood, try saying no to sex before your partner starts being in the mood.


  • If you’re out on a date or together, spend a night, and let your partner know if you’re not in the mood. If things feel romantic and enjoyable, your partner may think you’re in a sex mood even when you’re not really in there.


  • Often when sexual advances are turned down, people feel insulted or hurt. Letting your partner know you’re not in the mood ahead of time may save their feelings later. Unwanted advances don’t have to be turned down.

  • Sometimes, you may not be in the mood at any given moment, but this does not mean that all-day sex is off the table. Try to ask your partner how you feel afterward. If you’re busy, tired, or stressed, it’s hard to predict when you’re going to be in the mood and not going to be in it. Give your partner the chance to try again later on.

Also Read: Why it is not important to win every argument for good life management?

Is It OK To Not Be In The Mood?

It’s not always easy to say no to sex as just, well, say no. But in reality, when you say no, you might feel pressured, culpable, manipulated, or coerced. It’s never okay to push yourself to have sex, and you deserve to respect your boundaries. However, it is okay to say no to sex if you are not confident about doing it.

  • You do not owe an explanation to anyone for not wanting to have children. However, if you are in a relationship with someone, it can be healthy to explain why you are not in the mood. This will help your partner understand your sexual needs and yourself better. Unless there’s a more complicated explanation you don’t want sex, it’s even more important to talk about that. Were you angry at your partner?
  • If there’s a more difficult reason you don’t want sex, it’s even more important to talk about that. Were you angry at your partner? Do you not feel sexual because of your own body’s negative feelings and looks? If a deeper problem is at stake, schedule a time to speak to your partner about issues. Mind to be patient and to word things equally, without judgment.
  • People sometimes feel obliged to have sex, especially if they have already engaged in activities that would typically lead to sex. Understand that nobody has a right to your body and that making out or even fooling around means you owe anybody sex. Don’t listen to anybody telling you otherwise. If you feel things heading for sex, tap off the physical contact and pull away gently. If your partner is pressing you for more, clarify gently why you are saying no to sex.
  • This will help you understand why you don’t want to be having children. The more you understand yourself and your desires, the more you are able to communicate yourself to others.

Is It Unhealthy To Abstain?

Several people practice abstinence. That means refraining entirely from sexual intercourse, either before marriage or for a specified period of time. Find the justification for abstinence if you practice abstinence. What are the advantages of sex abstaining? Is it essential for you? If yes, then why? Occasionally reviewing the reasons you become abstinent, to begin with, can help you feel more confident in your decision.

  • Some people want to just wait for a little to have children. Although sex is popular in pop culture on the third date rule, that may not be a feeling you share. Maybe you like to get to know someone before you engage in sex emotionally. Maybe you aren’t comfortable with early intimacy. Explore the motives concerning having to delay sex until later. This can make you feel better to justify your motives to others.
  • There are certainly many reasons you do not want to have sex, depending on your own personal experience and comfort zone. Whatever your motive, it’s valid. If you do not want to have sex, there is no reason to have sex. You should never believe you should have sex or be forced to have sex.
  • Those people identify as being asexual. Asexual is a sexual orientation that resembles being straight or homosexual. Asexuals are unselfish about sex. For asexual people, sexual activity isn’t pleasurable. Asexual people may be anxious for romantic love, but they typically have a low or absent sex drive. You can learn more about asexuality online if you think you might be asexual.


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Jim Carson

Jim Carson is the writer for the mental health section of He is certified in clinical mental health counselling and has conducted cognitive behaviour therapy for war veterans struggling with PTSD. Professionally and personally, Jim is an astute observer of human behaviour that reflects well in his work.